People say every pregnancy is different… What we as first time parents don’t understand is, how different it will be! My name is Leah. I am 31 years old and I had my first child at the age of 18.
First time around
While I was pregnant with my son, I was tired all the time! Not to mention sick everyday for the entire 40 weeks! I continued to be active during my pregnancy, which helped when I finally went into labour. After labouring at home, I proceeded to jogged… that right you read that correctly! I jogged into the hospital and announced to the nurse that I was in labour. She did not believe me of course, so after about 20 minutes she sent someone in to check how I was doing. I was already 8 cm dilated and quickly made it to 10. It wasn’t long until my handsome man was in my arms! One thing I have learned about children, we are blessed with specific children at specific times in our lives! My son is absolutely an amazingly, intelligent, kind heard, responsible kid. His personality and character was what I needed, as an 18-year-old parent!
When I brought him home from the hospital was when reality hit! I was exhausted, I hadn’t slept in days. I didn’t understand that babies had cues to let you know they were hungry before they started crying. They first three weeks of motherhood felt completely overwhelming and we both cried a lot as we figured each other out. Through all the trial and error of first time parenting… and it really was mostly errors. I figured it out and raised an incredible human being!
Fast forward 11 years later, I am 29 years old. My period may be a little late or 2 months late. I know I’m bad but it will come eventually right? My husband and I were planning on going camping that weekend. He had noticed some changes in my mood and suggested I take a pregnancy test before we go camping. Up to this point I had been in denial of the possibility of being pregnant. Why? I think growing up I had envisioned myself with 4 kids and the “white picket fence”. When that plan didn’t happen, I steered my ship a completely different course and never looked back. Fortunately the big man upstairs has bigger plans for us!
Easier the second time around?
This pregnancy was completely different from my first! Maybe it was because I was having a girl this time? Maybe it was because I was a decade older? Whatever the reason it was 10 times physically harder! I guess there are pros and cons to being pregnant at any age. This time around I was wiser, I had a career and an amazing partner! Physically I was so sick I had to go to the hospital because of dehydration. My O.B. Had me drinking Gatorade and using a humidifier 24 hours a day 7 days a week. I suffered from awful sciatica, to the point that I could hardly walk.
The scariest day was when I experienced bleeding so heavy I thought that we were loosing our baby at 29 weeks. This was do to be cervix starting to turn inside out. All the things people don’t warn women about because if they did they may never want to experience pregnancy.
Our amazing little girl was born at 40 weeks, one day after my 30th birthday! As my son says I did’t have any kids in my 20’s! This time around I knew what to do with a baby. I understand so much more then when I first brought my son home all those years ago. What I wasn’t an expert in was dividing my time between 2 completely different children, in 2 completely different age groups and needs! The same week my daughter was born, my son came down with the flu. At 3 in the morning, I had a kid being sick in one room and a baby needing to be fed in the other. Feeling helpless all I could do was go to my sleeping husband and say, “Honey, get up and pick a kid!” Everything seemed to be flowing better after a few weeks, we were figuring it out. Until one morning at 8 weeks post natal everything changed.
Life changing moment
I woke up that morning like every other day my daughter in her bassinet beside my bed. I took her out and placed her on the bed so I could change her diaper. I stood up to get the wipes and was hit with the worst pain I had ever felt in my life! I dropped like a rock to the floor and couldn’t breath the pain was so bad! It was coming from my hip, I was screaming but everyone had left for the day, there was no one to help me. I tried to get up but my leg wouldn’t move. My baby was crying but I couldn’t get to her. She was safe near the middle of the bed. At only 8 weeks old she couldn’t roll.
What was happening? My husband had put my phone on the dresser, I was always forgetting where I left it. I needed to get to my phone to call for help! I tried to get up again but it was no use my leg wouldn’t move. I dragged myself to the dresser and knocked it until the phone fell to the ground. Never being one to call 911 for myself I called my husband. He left work and called my sister who talked me through breathing and not hyperventilating. After moving around and my husband trying to get me off the floor I was able to start moving my leg again. At the hospital the doctor explained to me what had happened.
Recovery
There is a hormone called relaxin which helps women to give birth by relaxing our joints. In my case, my body has an abundance of this hormone. When I had gotten out of bed that day my hip had dislocated and then later popped back into the socket. As awful as that was, I was not prepared for the days, weeks and months later. I was bedridden for weeks with a new born baby.
My hip could not take any weight so I couldn’t lift my daughter even though at 8 weeks she was only 8 pounds. I wasn’t able to tolerate sitting in a chair or standing up straight. I needed help bathing, using the washroom. After a year of healing I am happy to say I can walk around and go up and down stairs. I won’t be running a marathon any time soon but life is back to our normal. Was this a time of trial and difficulty? Absolutely, I cry just remembering how scary it really was! Would I change where I am today because of it? Not a chance! I believe everything happens for a reason!
Lessons from my children
A decade of difference between pregnancies. In my experience children change us, and I am so thankful for it! Having my son made me take life seriously, learn responsibility and selflessness. Having my daughter gave me strength, taught me to face my fears and helped me to remember to laugh! I am a better person because of them!
Leah and her family
Thank you Leah for sharing your incredible story. You are proof that each pregnancy is not straight out of a textbook. Continue working on recovering so that you may run a marathon one day in the near future!
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