Laura, Miguel, and Ellie are the clients that cemented my conviction that I had found my true calling in helping new families as a postpartum doula. When we were nearing the end of our contracted time together, I had asked Laura if she would share her experience into mamahood. Watching her in this parental role was inspiring and I knew other parents needed to see that there can be positivity and light in those first few months of bringing home baby.
And not just the doom and gloom that social media tends to focus on.
Having a strong support team is key in fostering a positive postpartum experience. Before baby arrives, think about who will you lean on in times of need. My hopes are that by reading Laura’s experience, it will give you the inspiration and the drive to create your own postpartum support team.
The Birth of my Mamahood
Everyone always says how much they love their kids, and I thought I understood. Like, yeah, of course you do; they’re your kids.
But.
I realize now that I really didn’t get it… it truly is an overwhelming, all-encompassing, heart-exploding, amazingly awesome feeling of never-ending love.
Now having said that, this next sentence is going to seem kinda strange, but hear me out.
For much of my life, I’ve heard people say how awful it is to become a mom. Okay, maybe they don’t actually use that word, but come on, the way they describe it? Sleepless nights, endless diapers, stress, opinions from everyone, no more freedom, the loss of your social life, the inability to even pee without someone attached to you… I mean, they make it sound like your life is over.
My friends, it is not. In fact (cue the eye roll), it is only just beginning. Not life itself, but the next chapter of it for sure. I have never before felt so complete, so fulfilled, so in love on a daily basis. If I want to feel a jolt of happiness, I look at my daughter. If I want to literally feel love bubbles bursting inside of me (it’s a real thing), I watch my husband interact with her. Even though it only started just shy of 5 months ago, I feel like I’ve been a mom my whole life. And I friggin’ love it.
What’s my secret?
First off, I am absolutely NOT in this alone. I have so much awesome support around me including my husband, who has proven to be a fantastic dad (I expected nothing less, but still, it’s pretty great), as well as our families and friends. And, I learned REAL fast how to accept help from them, and even ask for it. (Look at me go!) I’ve realized that people want to help out, so I’ve learned to take advantage of that. (Not take advantage of them, but rather of the fact that they want to help. I felt like that needed clarification. Anyway.)
Next, my baby is an angel.
Okay, I don’t mean to brag, and I’m currently knocking on every piece of wood I can find… but it’s true. She’s pretty chill and very happy, and she sleeps a minimum of 8 hours every night. Straight.
I know. Believe me, I know how lucky I am.
I mean, she has her days (don’t we all), and we certainly had our fair share of night feeds and figuring-it-outs for the first couple of months (and those will continue to happen), but overall she is such a good baby.
So there’s that.
But also, and super importantly, I feel like I’ve really taken advantage of all the fantastic resources available to new mamas. And there are so many. Chiropractic and osteopathic care, massage therapy, a pelvic floor physiotherapist and a lactation consultant, to name a few. It’s unfortunate that too many women don’t know about these amazing resources available to them. When we think about all that our bodies (and minds) have been through, we realize the importance of utilizing all of these helpers.
I’ve also tried to move my body on the regular, even if that just means a short walk around the block, or a 10-minute at-home yoga session with my girl in her pink chair watching me. A quick bath before bed? Yes please. A guided meditation played from my phone, often while breastfeeding? Yup. Every little bit really, truly does wonders for my mental and physical wellbeing.
What that last part all comes down to is continuing to take care of myself even after I became a mom, and not feeling guilty about it. Self-care is HUGE. Because after all, if I’m not the best version of myself, how can I be the best mother? Or wife? So daughter and hubby, you’re welcome for me getting that massage yesterday. :)
All kidding aside, it is seriously true. When I take care of myself, I show up for them (and life in general) happier, less stressed, and with a sense of excitement. And come on, who doesn’t love feeling excited?!
Finally, I feel like this experience might not have been as relatively stress-free as it’s been without the help of my amazing postpartum doula, Erika Matkovich from The Maternal Sidekick. She helped my husband and I navigate the waters of new parenthood, both before and after our daughter was born. I was able to nap while she snuggled with our babe, I had my dishes magically done for me while I was breastfeeding, and I got to ask any and all random questions regarding babies and mamahood. I seriously looked forward to our sessions together (and I miss them now, *tear*) as I knew that for the next few hours, whatever we needed, we were good. She was there to support our fam in whatever ways we needed it.
I must also give a shout-out to my labour and birth doula, Melanie Farrell from Built To Birth. She was an awesome part of my support team, both before and after the birth (and obviously during), giving me tons of guidance and advice, including helping to establish proper breastfeeding.
All in all, becoming a mom is up there as one of the greatest experiences of my life. It has taught me so much about myself, about patience, love, vulnerability, living in the moment, how to accept (and ask for) help, how to continue taking care of me, and how to go with the flow. Even though it’s life-changing, it’s nothing to be feared; in my experience, that change is for the better. And even though my life is pretty different now than it was 5 short months ago, I feel like it’s in the best way possible, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
By Laura Lima CNP, RNCP
Laura is a holistic nutritionist who helps mamas and mamas-to-be recover their energy and feel fantastic while growing healthy, happy babies. Connect with her at www.lauralima.ca, and on Facebook and Instagram @lauraannlima.
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